Couples should consider a lot of things before they settle down and tie the knot. In marriage, “No two people agree on everything, and that’s okay, but it’s important to be okay with each other’s differences,” says Lee Bowers, LP, PhD. Both parties should take full responsibility for their duties as husband and wife. The relationship must include commitment, understanding, and unconditional love. However, it may show signs of failure. How can it survive the harsh truth of reality that one can suddenly feel nothing at all, or it may be both ways?
“There’s No You or Me, Only Us”
Married couples may encounter a lot of problems along their way to forever. But the thought should always be and quoting Lori Edelson, LMSW, LMFT, “Impossible to imagine one without the other!” Things like decision making are crucial in a lot of circumstances, and once a relationship fails to realize the essence of marriage, things can turn out worse. A study of people’s psycho-physiological measurement and their emotions apply to those people who tend to change their perception once they become married. The marital interaction happens once their meta-emotions are triggered which somehow leads the couple to selfish judgment and denial.
“I don’t love my husband anymore.”
It was almost over for Kilee Luthi (a loving wife) and his husband when she woke up one day and thought of not loving his husband anymore. Her decision made her realize that over the course of unwanted trials and misunderstandings, she finally fell out of love. However, the thought of it only reflects what her choice should or shouldn’t have to be. So instead of ending their relationship, she managed to pull through and decided to love his husband all over again.
Over the way of her meta-emotions, she realized a lot of things that made her change her perception throughout her struggle. She decided to stay and save their marriage. She viewed the relationship differently and made some adjustments to her preferences. She showed effort and started seeing things the way it was before when she decided to marry the man she calls her husband. From there, her consciousness made way for them to patch things up instead of ending it.
“It works if we work on it.”
Love never ends, and it must embody the relationship of both married couples. Letting go doesn’t always have to be an option when a person knows how to make a responsible decision. Everything married couples experience will still result in different opinions, and as long as both of them (or at least one of them) chose to fix things rather than finish it, a healthier relationship will soon take place. Always “Pursue connection!” says Lee Horton, Ph.D.
Loving a person is always a choice. You will have to deal with your emotions and apply necessary decisions that will make you realize how happy and satisfied you are with your life. It takes time before you can finally get over the fact that you and your partner should or should not have to go on separate ways because ending a marriage is never easy. It will catch a lot of emotional stress and heartaches. So if you are having problems on whether you want to hold on or let go of your marriage, always remember the reason why you said “yes” in the first place.