We know that marriage is a process and it’s entirely challenging to handle. So much for that, we are all guilty of making mistakes. Some of them can be both intentional, and some are not. After all, we are all human. And despite the idea of “happily ever after,” the truth is there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. “If you’re angry, sad or hurt, that’s information your husband needs to know.” The next time you have a bad day at work, send a warning text before you get home, Dr. Michelle Golland, PsyD, suggests.
Arguments can be both stressful and healthy for every marriage. It is the moment where both couples learn to understand the differences between each other. However, some mistakes once are made, there’s no way of undoing them. No matter how sorry we are and we apologize a hundred times, it won’t take credits because the damage is already making things worse. So here are the mistakes in the relationship that can quite become a deal breaker.
Overlooked Mistakes In Marriage
- Cheating is always a deal breaker in every relationship because it takes advantage of the other person’s weakness. It promotes lies and betrayals. It creates a space for doubts that can make someone feel emotionally tortured. It ruins marriage due to the inconsistency of love and affection. We don’t commit adultery just because we fall into a trap. It’s a matter of making wrong decisions that we know will not only hurt our partner but also hurts us in the end as well. “A sexually and emotionally distant marriage will definitely make an affair more likely, but it’s also true that affairs happen in excellent marriages as well. Affairs have many sources, and opportunity and work context are among the pre-disposing factors.”, according to Dr. Harriet Lerner, a popular psychologist and author.
- It’s normal for couples to have disagreements, but it doesn’t support the idea of disrespecting each other. Because ones the insults begin to come up, there’s no chance of getting it back. Words can hurt more than we can ever imagine. And once we throw demeaning and degrading remarks on our partners, it will create a long and painful emotional agony.
- One of the most often overlooked mistakes in a marriage is the attitude of being controlling. The relationship is about “give and take,” and the act of controlling our spouses takes them away from being responsive and affectionate towards us. It creates an invisible gap that eventually turns into walls if left unnoticed. No one likes to get controlled, and the fact that its focus is to try and force someone to change into something he’s not is entirely a reason for ending a relationship.
- There are too many expectations but stumble down on different responsibilities. Both couples have their priorities, but we don’t expect them to manage everything. When we assume that our partner is responsible for doing things, we don’t blame them for not completing it. Instead, we help them finish the task. Since we are married, we become a team. Therefore, insisting that one person’s incapability is the reason for mismanaged errands is an inconsiderable behavior.
Marriage is a commitment, and both couples should work on it together. Remember this – “Once you find someone with whom you can make a life together, commitment will only enhance that life, both by making it easier to achieve your goals and dreams, as well as giving you someone to achieve them with,” says Mark D. White Ph.D. Mistakes are inevitable. Sometimes it is only a big mistake, and other times it can be a series of smaller ones. Hence, both are considered deal breakers. It is necessary to know that the only way to avoid making slips twice is to acknowledge that we did something stupid and what we did is wrong. From there, learn the lesson and try never to do it again.