When nothing’s turning out right in your relationship, there are still a couple of little yet significant things that you can do to turn things around. Remembering that even if these steps are simple and small, these gestures will yield more meaningful moments in relationships as time passes by.
Express How Grateful You Are
It’s not every day that you hear someone say how thankful they are for being this and that, but it helps. Thank you – these two words play a significant role in making your partner feel that you see them and the things they do and that they matter. Expressing gratitude to your special someone, or anyone, will not make you less of a person but even make you someone who sees goodness and appreciates it no matter how trivial the task was.
Revive Relevant Conversations
“A committed marriage is a lifelong partnership that links two people around their most fundamental wishes and wants so that the two people involved can flourish as individuals and as a couple,” according to Catherine Aponte Psy.D. These wishes and wants need to be conveyed, and thus, meaningful conversations.
Don’t you wish you can just go back to the way things were when all you can talk about is how the stars are aligned or how the earth sustains life? When now, all you two ever discuss are the bills, the groceries, the laundry, etc.? When asking about how each other’s day is no longer enough, you can revive relevant conversations into your relationship. Make sure that when you do, both of you are tucked in quietly and are just waiting for sleep to come, or you’re on sitting on your sofa or in your car, start off the conversation with topics that you two are interested in.
Because of a lot of things going on in each other’s lives, sometimes, couples forget to care or be interested in each other’s business. Make it a habit of asking about your partner’s activity for the day – is it a dreadful meeting, an important presentation, a lunch with a client, or just a get-together with friends? Showing curiosity is a sign that you are eager and attentive enough to know what’s going on with your significant other, it is as essential as asking their fears, worries, hopes, and dreams. This little gesture will build rapport and understanding that will then show your partner how thoughtful you are for considering each other’s activities.
Stan Tatkin Psy.D. said that “Without a doubt, if you and your partner put your relationship first and focus on each other’s well-being you will harvest the most benefits in the short and long term. This way, you are, as I like to say, in the foxhole together, whereby you have each other’s backs and unequivocally eliminate any sense of insecurity or threat in the relationship.”
Disagreements? Walk It Off
“Why does someone you love so deeply cause you to feel such an incredible range of emotions? From love to anger, happiness to despair, contentment to angst, security to anxiety… relationships often bring the full gamut of feelings prompting questions about longevity, stability and security.” This is said by Alicia Clark, PsyD. But it doesn’t have to end that way. Yes, walk it off.
You might be thinking, “Whoa, bad idea. Both of us might just make a big scene in public.” The thing is, there is a possibility that you won’t. After you’ve screamed your heart and mind out inside your house, ask your partner if he or she would like to go for a stroll around the neighborhood or at the park just to figure things out. Walking and being in the open air eases tension and somehow provides perspective. Aside from that, you are sauntering away your anger which can lead to an open mind and cause understanding and compromise.
Your partner is not a servant. You may both have responsibilities inside the house, but you have to remember that there are times when we forget our household duties. If so, ask nicely and never demand. People acknowledge better to polite requests rather than authoritative commands. Make sure to throw in the magic word “Please” with a massive, sweet smile on your face.
Along with a little admiration is respect. Always make sure to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on if your partner wants to vent or wants comfort. It’s hard to rebuild a relationship that is slowly crumbling to pieces and has been long disconnected but, if you are really determined to bring back joy and affection to your life, you will make the first step in mending the broken pieces. After all, no matter how little these things might seem to be, they are the building blocks of your relationship.