One must invest in time and effort for a marriage to grow and glow. Between household responsibilities, kids, work commitments, and other important schedules, often it is quite difficult to protect that relationship. When trials come, some couples contemplate divorce because they think it’s healthier and more convenient.
However, other couples stay and strive to save the relationship. Which couple are you? Do you find it better to go on separate ways or would you like to save the marriage in order to save your family? If you think you and your spouse have the slightest chance of making it right again, read these proven tips on how to improve your marriage and save your family in the long run.
Respect and honor your spouse
People do change, and that doesn’t exclude your partner. Admiring, accepting, and adapting to these changes is essential in any kind of relationship. You can do this by initially writing a list of your partner’s good features so that you will remember the beautiful human being that you fell in love with and married. This will also help you express your appreciation for your partner’s distinct personalities – those that made you fall for him in the first place. Show him this appreciation by saying thank you. Compliments are also a great way to let him know that you admire him for what he does.
Despite the many distractions that might keep you from keeping in touch with your spouse – smartphones, online jobs, and Netflix, you must find time to talk to your spouse face to face. Open communication about how your day went, your happy and not-so-good moments, your failures, and your successes of the day is crucial in building intimacy and love in the marriage.
Make a commitment
Contemplating the thought of getting out of the marriage for your sake could place major stress on the relationship, no matter how hard not to say it aloud. Just thinking about it results in a break of your determination to make the marriage work. To avoid this, you must make a commitment to do whatever you can to save your marriage and consequently keep the family intact. Vow to not make divorce an easy option.
Talk about your finances
A lot of marriages are destroyed by misunderstandings about money. Partners frequently have various expectations about their finances. One finds it hard to visualize someone else’s financial plan from his perspective. When you talk about money issues and how finances should be dealt with, you are reducing a tremendous amount of stress from your marriage. Talk about budget, strategies regarding debt, and your plans to live within your means. It’s also vital to talk about your wants and needs and to be able to differentiate between the two. This way, you and your spouse do not need to argue over what you consider important for the family.
Have time apart from each other
Probably one of the toughest things to juggle in a marriage is how much time to spend with each other. If you spend too many hours or days of the week together, you might feel choked and unhappy. If you spend too little time, on the other hand, your spouse might think that you’re irresponsible and passive.
If your spouse asks for time with her friends or for herself, try to give her that as considerably as you can. In fact, you can even offer to watch the kids or do the chores for the day. On the contrary, also make sure that you two spend quality time together. Your dates don’t need to be costly. You can cook at home and have some wine on the patio if the kids need babysitting. What’s important is you have time to be with each other and feel each other’s respect, love, and affection.
Don’t hold grudges
Marriages are often ruined when one is not bent on forgiving. Studies have revealed that feeling angry and resentful toward your spouse almost always embitters and may result in divorce if the situation continues for a prolonged period.
Try as best you can to forgive your spouse. Don’t take too long to give it because forgiveness is a gift to yourself as it is for the person you are forgiving. Holding grudges increases your stress and certainly affects your health negatively. If you have made a mistake, apologize and ask for forgiveness sincerely. Listen and understand your spouse and commit not to do the same mistake again in the future.
If despite your efforts at trying to save your marriage, the relationship remains at risk and almost broken, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. When you and your partner can’t seem to figure out what’s wrong, a mediator that is professional and experienced can often be the last and only resort. Who knows, after a few talks and discussions, you’ll both realize that you are not ready to give up on the marriage after all.