The most common misconception about couples therapy or relationship counseling is that it will always save the marriage. It is time for people to know that this is wrong information because the truth is that the success rate for this form of therapy is not guaranteed. This means that just because a husband and wife have decided to see a therapist does not necessarily mean that it will ultimately resolve the marital woes. As Anita Chlipala, licensed marriage and family therapist says, “If you keep having the same fight, a couples’ therapist can teach you to identify which issues are situational and perpetual.”
It may be a sad reality, but the truth of the matter is that couples therapy can also lead to divorce. Unfortunately, some marriages have reached a point of no redemption. These are the relationships that will lead to separation. In this article, we are going to give you some tips and tricks on how to survive after a failed couples therapy:
Stop The Blame Game
There are many reasons or causes why your marriage failed. “When it comes to placing blame in a relationship, it’s almost always easier to see the faults in our partner than in ourselves” Lisa Firestone Ph.D. Stop blaming yourself for whatever happened in the union. Learn how to forgive yourself for all your shortcomings. At the same time, you must also find it in your heart to offer forgiveness for your ex-husband. It is a good start so that you can finally move on from a lost love.
Be sure to take advantage of the sessions in couples counseling to discuss the problems in the marriage. As Jean G. Fitzpatrick L.P., licensed relationship therapist, stated, “Accepting that your partner is different from you can be an important reframing.” Do not hesitate to open up about the marital concerns. Communicate with your spouse about the things that are making you feel upset or sad about the relationship. Most importantly, try to get closure before going on separate ways.
Let Go Of Him
It will always be painful to see your loved one go. It hurts to realize that you need to part ways with your soul mate. However, there is nothing more that you can do about it. Take note that the more you stay in an unhealthy relationship, the more it will consume you. In the long run, the stressful marriage will only prevent you from experiencing happiness.
Find A New Passion
Keep yourself busy so that you can instantly move on from the broken marriage. Find a new hobby that you’ve always wanted to try when you were still single. You can also invest your time and effort in looking for a new passion. Try attending workshops that can take your mind off the divorce.
Take Care Of Yourself
Do not be miserable after the separation from your former husband. It is okay to wallow in sadness or cry your heart out until you feel okay about the breakup. Stop apologizing for feeling hurt about it. However, it is essential to bounce back as soon as possible. Always make an effort to take care of yourself. Remember that you are a loving person who deserves all the best things in this world.
Couples therapy may or may not be the solution for spouses. Nonetheless, it is still a recommended form of treatment. You can always try it with your husband but be sure to keep your expectations low. Furthermore, be sure to participate in all the sessions for better results.