Can laughter be therapeutic? It may be corny or it may be old school, but somehow there is truth to the saying that laughter therapy is the best medicine. The words can be found in the Bible, in Proverbs 17:22, where it says that a merry heart is good medicine.
My husband and I have been married for 12 years now, and we have three kids. From our very intimate relationship during the early stage of our marriage, we have grown to become just like ordinary friends (with benefits). We communicate, but the topics we most talk about are the kids, our work, the bills, and only the common aspects of our zestless married life.
All couples that enter the sanctity of matrimony or union by marriage seek the security of a lifetime. It involves two people, as partners, facing all the imminent hardships that they may endure during their lifetime together. For these couples, all decisions are then talked about, unified to ensure the wellness of each individual in the marriage, their kids, and the marriage itself. As said by Catherine Aponte Psy.D.“An important part of the interactions between you and your spouse is the way in which you communicate thoughts, ideas, and feelings primarily through verbal communication. Your ability to verbally communicate with your spouse can significantly enhance the kind of relationship that will exist between the two of you.”
With the availability of the remedy of divorce in the United States, it becomes convenient for some married couples just to call it quits. Some husbands and wives have chosen to part ways because of so many problems that they encounter during the union. What if they children? “Parents need to know that divorce always affects children because of the disruption in their life. Some children may fare better than others – others may not. Parents can expect a full range of emotions from spitefulness, uncooperativeness, feelings of depression, being withdrawn or combination of all the above,” says Katherine Sellwood, PsyD. Aside from this issue, there are others that can fuel the fire.
Some of the common issues involve financial problems, acts of infidelity and different opinions in some matters. Even my spouse and I have also considered on ending our marital union due to some irreconcilable differences. However, we did not give in and chose to fight for the relationship.
There are so many things that every married couple needs to understand when it comes to managing their relationship. One of the most common issues that a husband and wife encounter is having anxiety or stress caused by too many expectations for each other. Most of the time, one party wants something that the other party cannot provide immediately. There are also times when they would feel too much pressure from the people surrounding them.
Unfortunately, all these things can make a person wonder about staying in a marriage. If you are one of these individuals, then make sure to read this article before thinking of getting a divorce or legal separation. The first lesson that you have to remember is that married life is not going to be easy, but as long as you are with the right person, it is worth fighting for. Do not easily give up just because things are not happening the way you want them to be. Keep in mind that there are tons of ways on how you can improve your marriage. (One such way is this – “Once a week or so, ask your partner, ‘Is there anything I’ve done lately that’s caused distance between us?'” says Susan Campbell, Ph.D. Are you humble enough to ask that to your spouse and rekindle your relationship?)
In this article, we are going to share some tips and tricks on how you can make an effort to handle anxiety and stress in your marriage. Make sure to familiarize yourself with these:
Think Of The Other Person
Before you do anything or say something, it is best to always think of what the other person might feel. You have to remind yourself that your spouse deserves love and affection at all times. Do not commit an act or say a word that can potentially hurt him. Otherwise, you may only give him reason to be distant from you. Whenever there are stressors in your marriage, be sure to discuss it with him so that he can also provide some strategies on how you can handle it together.
Go On Dates
Just because you are already married does not mean that you can just stay on the couch and be too comfortable. Sometimes, you have to make efforts to go on dates even without an occasion to celebrate. Have fun with your partner so that you can relax from whatever is making any of you feel anxious. Do not hesitate to take a break from work or business for the sole purpose of spending memorable and quality time with the person you love. The more you do this, the easier it would be for both of you to solve your issues. “Dating can be extremely beneficial toward keeping romance alive, and making a practice of going on regular dates can be a great way to jump-start that habit,” says Denise Limongello, a licensed psychotherapist in Manhattan.
Let Go Of The Small Stuff
There will be a lot of times when you would have an argument with your spouse about something. During these moments, you may feel that it is crucial to assert your opinion or comment. While this may be a good thing, it can also cause some rift between you and your partner. As such, it is best to learn to let go of the small stuff. Do not stress yourself in forcing your husband to agree with you. Take note that it does not matter who wins in the argument or misunderstanding. What is essential is that you never lose sight of the significance of respecting each other’s views and that you remain loving with one another.
Build Communication Lines
Whenever something is wrong in the relationship, the best thing to do is to talk to your partner about it. Do not ignore his presence nor avoid any form of conversation with him. Otherwise, you may end up growing apart from each other. Because of this, it is highly recommended to focus on building communication lines with the other person. If possible, always initiate the talking and avoid nagging so that he will feel the importance of having a conversation. When it comes to the talk, it is always best to choose your words to ensure that you will not say anything offensive. “Most coffee shops are set up to facilitate intimate conversation, which is just what you want on a date,” says Esther Boykin, licensed marriage and family therapist.
Staying in a relationship is a choice that you have to make every single day. Do not give up on your marriage because it is not the answer to your problems. Sometimes, all you need to do is to face the challenges together. Take note that as long as you have each other, there is nothing in this world that you cannot accomplish.
No matter how much you make an effort into making your relationship with your husband a flawless one, there will always come a time when your marriage will experience some problems. Keep in mind that it is completely okay to go through several difficulties in a marriage as long as you stick together to solve it. “If you don’t feel listened to, respected for your thoughts/opinions, even when you disagree, and comfortable speaking your mind — these are signs your relationship will not work out,”Toni Coleman, LCSW. Take note that it only becomes extremely problematic if either of you does not participate in making the marital union work.
In this article, we are going to talk about the three common marital problems that every married couple may face at some point in the union. Remember that there is a necessity to pinpoint and become familiar about these issues so that you and your spouse can instantly find a way on how to solve them. Here is the list:
Money is a serious talk when it comes to any relationship, especially in a marriage. While it has been proven that money does not make the world go round, it does not mean that the lack of it can be perfectly fine as long as you are together. Never make an assumption when it comes to financial matters to ensure that you will not have any misunderstanding with the other spouse. As much as possible, be open to discuss any topics related to finances to avoid more significant concerns from coming in. “They may have very different attitudes about money, but if they can hear each other and respect each other, then they can come to a compromise,” pertaining to sound money management, as said by Brad Klontz, PsyD.
A recent study shows that one of the common causes of divorce or annulment is the absence of trust between the married couple. Once it happens, the marriage will go down the drain because jealousy can make one irrational. It is as if your intelligence will vanish the moment you start feeling envious of the other women. The truth of the matter is that you must learn how to make your partner feel that you trust him in whatever he does. Believe him when he says that he is not an infidel.
Upbringing of Kids
A married couple may also experience a rift in the relationship when both of them have personal reservations on how to raise kids. There will be a clash since most of the time you would have opposing views on what is right and wrong with respect to raising your children. The smartest thing to do at this point is to master the art of compromise. Do not make the mistake of prolonging fights between you and the other person. Instead, talk about the differences in ideas or principles that both of you believe, Find the common grounds from all these so that you will not have a difficult time making compromises.
Whatever the cause of the problem is in the marriage, it is imperative on your part to find the effective ways on how to resolve the issues for the purpose of saving the marriage. “Enjoy daydreaming and fantasizing about the future together, even if your partner’s dreams are independent of yours,” says licensed psychotherapist Christine Scott-Hudson, MA. Take note that the more you deny to yourself the existence of these issues, the more difficult it is for you to prevent the dissolution of the marital bond in the future.
“When you are in denial about your part in the relationship, then you are no better than a child flinging sand at another child in a sandbox. When you take responsibility for your part in the marriage, only then will you be able to connect with your partner in a mature, intimate way.” — Carin Goldstein, LMFT
Being married to my husband for more than 15 years has made me realize that arguments in a relationship have nothing to do with the environment. Well, at least not all of it. The truth is, the maximum percentage of our marriage conflicts comes from our home. Yes, and the more we stay together, it creates a massive commotion inside our house which affects all of us in the family.