My husband and I have been married for 12 years now, and we have three kids. From our very intimate relationship during the early stage of our marriage, we have grown to become just like ordinary friends (with benefits). We communicate, but the topics we most talk about are the kids, our work, the bills, and only the common aspects of our zestless married life.
I still love him, and I know he feels the same. It’s just that the passion is no longer there. The magic and extreme intimacy have died down. We rarely have sex probably because we no longer have the energy to do it due to our busy schedules. We may not be spending more time together, but I am sure that we are doing okay.
One day as I was reading a magazine, I came across a topic about a relationship and how dwindling sex life causes couples to break up. An expert said that when couples stop being sexually intimate, they lose the passion for their partner until they become flat out distant from each other. And then one day, you will wake up realizing that you are just sharing a bed with a total stranger. Research shows that partners who find themselves in this situation have had a higher chance of getting a divorce.
Sex And Emotional Intimacy
Sex is God’s best gift to husband and wife bonded in matrimony. For couples to have and enjoy a good sexual relationship, they first need to develop emotional understanding and a deep-seated closeness. It is vital that you have respect, care, and love for each other.
Experts say that in order to rekindle the passion, couples need to redevelop their closeness again by communicating and staying connected despite arguments, continue showing empathy, being open about how each other feels and positively learn the art of acceptance. Stop blaming and avoid criticizing, but have an open mind and wide stretched arms to take each other’s flaws and shortcomings.
Revisit The Excitement On The Honeymoon Stage Of Your Marriage
The blissful phase of marriage doesn’t last forever. Hugs, holding hands, and gentle touches are the best ways to assure your partner of your love. It is essential for couples to still a kiss, hug, and do sensual touching to improve and maintain the warmth of marriage. Winter season comes every once in a while in a relationship, and it is the sensual touch that will keep you both warm.
But as time passes by, you unnoticeably started to lose that sensual touch due to arguments, trials, personal struggles, and some other factors.
To keep the fire burning again and reawaken the passion in your relationship, I want to share with you some tips.
- Hold hands, hugs, and touch more often. Such acts will help release oxytocin which is a calming sensation. During sexual climax, you also tend to increase your oxytocin level. It is beneficial in fighting stress as it lowers your cortisol which is the stress hormone.
- Look your partner in the eyes. Whether it’s a simple talk or something that is serious, giving her your full attention when you converse is a way of telling her that she’s important and that you’re listening to what she’s saying. When you’re in an intimate situation, make sure to put away your gadgets so as not to disturb something that is far more important.
- Giving your partner a gentle massage in the neck, back, or feet still works magic and is an effective way of sending the message that you care and worry about your partner. It may be physically tiring, but it is totally sweet.
- Reconnect as you help your partner scrub his back while in the shower. It will inevitably create an air of intimacy. And for sure, you would never want anybody else doing it for him.
- Send sweet and thoughtful text messages every day. Assure her that you care, and you are thinking of her. It doesn’t matter if you receive a reply as long as you relay your message. Doing this untiringly every single day will melt her heart away, and you’ll get a reply soon.
- Surprise your partner. When coming home from work or travel, surprise your partner with something he or she will love. Your gift does not necessarily have to be expensive or extra special, because it is your effort and the thoughts that are appreciated.
- Have a meal on one plate. You can share dinner on a single plate from time to time, either while watching a movie or just sitting there chatting. Doing it without hesitation is a sign that you are still in union with each other and very secure with the relationship.
- Be sure to make love, not just do sex. Enjoy sex because it is God’s precious gift. There’s nothing wrong with being a little bit daring or openly talk about your sexual fantasies. You can have erotic sex while being gentle, caring, loving, and respectful of your partner.
Married couples pass through different stages of the relationship. Intimacy will slowly fade, but should never be completely forgotten. Don’t wait for your partner to make the first move. Take the initiative to reawaken the passion in your relationship. That is what I did. So what if I’m the woman? It is our relationship that is at stake, and it is us who will enjoy every moment as we bring back the mood of intimacy in our bedroom.