If you are thinking about going through couples counseling, you might wonder what’s in it for you during your initial session. What would it be like? Will your counselor or your partner ambush you with questions? You may also be doubtful if counseling would even help your relationship. A lot of stigmas and hesitations that a rooted in the concept of couples counseling are frequently pacified after partners attend their very first counseling session.
You Meet With The Counselor As A Couple
When you meet the counselor for your initial session, you and your spouse or partner will be doing the talk together with the counselor. Most of your visits will be done this way, and others will be spent individually. The goal of the one-on-one session is for the counselor to get some history and background on each partner, allowing the counselor to be more knowledgeable of your particular needs.
Following the first session together, the counselor might schedule you an individual meeting. Then you will be working with your partner for the rest of the meetings concerning your relationship problems. The initial meeting will become the basis for what will be done in the next meetings. This will also set an atmosphere where you and your partner are inspired to talk about your emotions.
You Set Your Goals As A-Team
Setting goals are very crucial to decipher especially when it comes to counseling. As you get into your first meeting, you create goals for your relationship. These goals will assist you and your partner in having more healthy connections and interactions. If you are not sure about what goals you want, it’s fine. Remember that it’s still the first session. Your counselor is there to help you do just that. On the contrary, if you have already set your goals, it’s an even greater start. Depending on your history and background, you can identify the goals you wish to present to your counselor. Whatever it is, your counselor can guide both of you through peace and harmony.
Having Different Goals
Each individual that undergoes counseling has various goals, and this means that you and your partner might have different outlooks. You could have considered counseling because you have high hopes for your relationship, while the other partner is not very hopeful. This imbalance could cause a difference in the goals that you set for the entire counseling process.
Despite this, it won’t imply that your marriage or relationship is meant to fail. Both you and your partner can work with the counselor to seek improvement and healing. The general purpose is to acquire self-esteem as an individual and then as a couple to move forward. And to succeed in couples counseling, you have to find harmony when dealing with relationship matters with your partner. However, whether or not you decide to go separate ways or face your issues, the counselor will work with a plan that will suit your needs, encouraging positivity and healing.
Counseling Should Lead To Better Understanding
Establishing a positive connection with your counselor is important if you want the counseling to succeed. Your counselor must show understanding, patience, and empathy toward you and your partner throughout all the sessions. For instance, if you are talking about your problems with your counselor, you must not feel that you’re not being ignored. Confidence in your counselor will help you feel reassured that you are understood during your counseling. If this is not the case, you will most probably not rely on your counselor, which could cause stress and doubts in the counseling process itself.
Being understood is not merely being listened to. Your counselor must be capable of creating an atmosphere where you and your partner can freely express your issues and feelings. Couples should be determined and urged to attain their goals and, over time, feel certain that attaining those goals is possible.
Allow Yourselves To Be Exposed
Being weak is vital to productivity in counseling. When you and your partner allow yourselves to be exposed and vulnerable, you are permitting yourselves to express insecurities, shame, and hurt that you are both struggling with within your marriage or relationship.
Inherently, you may be inclined to keep information from the start of the meeting because your counselor needs to be accountable. When you begin to feel relaxed enough to display some weakness, you will get better results during counseling.
If you have plans of setting and accomplishing any objectives during your counseling sessions, you must also strive to establish a trusting connection with your counselor so that you will both feel comfortable in opening up about your weaknesses and other concerns. Certainly, there are plenty of issues and ideas that you would consider before deciding to attend your first counseling session, which is all entirely understandable.
Building an honest connection with your counselor could take some time, as well as repairing your marriage or relationship. The healthiest way to approach your initial couples counseling sessions is to go in there, to be honest with yourself and your partner, as well as with your counselor, and to embrace it with an open mind.